Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Long and Grand List of Qualifying Major League Players With An Inferior VORP to David Ortiz

And the list reads....



No, that's it, really. Chris Young of the Arizona Diamondbacks, who was also supposed to be much better than this. And nothing more. The un-qualifying list reads just as badly. David Ortiz is truly the second worst everyday player in the majors on this, our Lord's second day of the third month of the Base Ball season. What, you don't believe me? Click the chart below:



If that awful image doesn't content you, look it up yourself. We aren't looking at Jeff Francour simply out of belief he can turn it around. We're looking at him because he's an upgrade over David Ortiz right now. Our team is 89.4 runs better than a team composed of nothing but AAAA guys, so yes, you could bump that up to 100.6 runs if you just replaced David Ortiz with...



Okay, technically, you'd lose half a run with undead Jason Giambi, but that heartbreak would be replaced with amusement. Call Beane, stat.

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