Monday, August 11, 2008
Dear Chicago White Sox Announcers,
1) "He ain't gonna lose this one tonight. We gonna come back." does not constitute baseball analysis. Or commentary. Or anything else that is your role.
2) Slipping in your idiotic homerism into the commentary, as in "C'mon Johnny, get it in...and it's outside for ball two." doesn't mitigate it. At all.
3) "He gone!" has gone from being an annoying catchphrase with some novelty to simply an annoying catchphrase.
4) I'm embarrassed enough to find myself say "We got three runs in the 5th" because I'm not a member of the Boston Red Sox. You should be disgraced for actually saying "We haven't scored since the 3rd," former ballplayer and not-former ballplayer. You're so not part of the "We." Juan Uribe may have that right even though he sucks. You don't have that right and also happen to suck.
5) You make John Sterling seem professional.
6) You and AJ are the reasons I found myself rooting against the ChiSox in 2005 in spite of your considerable curse and myself. Go to hell.
Yours in Christ,