A TRIBUTE TO BARRY BONDS, PART FOUR.

"Man, all he's doing is sitting around on his ass." (On his father Bobby, as he lay dying from cancer.)

(Barry Bonds. He doesn't want to hear about yer cancer, ya lazy bastard. And why did you shave your head?)

A TRIBUTE TO BARRY BONDS, PART THREE.

" I never stop looking for things to try and make myself better."

(Barry Bonds. Never stopped looking for things to try and make himself bigger. Er, better.)

A TRIBUTE TO BARRY BONDS, PART TWO.

"You're talking about something that wasn't even illegal at the time. All this stuff about supplements, protein shakes, whatever. Man, it's not like this is the Olympics."



(Barry Bonds: not at all physically transformed since when he was a rookie.)

(Major League Baseball: it ain't the Olympics.)

Update: Regular bar and grill patron Jim sent me the tasteful version of his rookie card below. He sure was wiry.

A TRIBUTE TO BARRY BONDS, PART ONE.

"My grandmother wants me to get her some wheelchair that drives like a car. Why do I need to get her some wheelchair when she's gonna die anyway?"
--The all-time MLB home run king, as quoted in the New York Times Magazine.

(Barry Bonds: He knows when it's time for grandma to die.)