What?

I could have sworn I just heard Suzy Waldman, in the middle of the WCBS 880 broadcast of the Tigers mutilating and doing other bad things to the Yankees, that Suzy said the word "Jeterian."



Normally, this is where I might say something like, "I might have heard that, but I mighta been sniffing glue." And then I heard John Sterling call Bobby Abreu "as sweet as candy" quite clearly. And then I only wished I was sniffing glue.

UPDATE: John Sterling sez several innings later, as Fernando Rodney comes in for the Tigers:

"Now here is a Rodney who gets respect!"

Listening to John Sterling is like a lot of embarrassing moments in life. It's funny later, but pretty painful in the moment.

The Sterling Variations: Hideki Matsui

When Hideki does good:

Hideki hi-decks that one out of here!
---
Domo arigato, Hideki ari-got it!
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Moshi moshi and sayonara! Hideki moshi moshi MASHED it!
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A Hiroshima from Hideki!*
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JOHN
Banzai! Hideki threw himself into the left field wall with no concern for his life, taking one for the Emperor!

SUZY WALDMAN
George is calling himself the emperor now?

JOHN
As you would know if you had any rudimentary understanding of Japan, Suzy, I'm referring to Emperor Hirohito, Suzy. The allegiance the Japanese people still have for him being, of course, the reason we can't trust Japs. (beat.) Everyone knows that!

Fifteen seconds of dead air pass.
---

When Hideki does not good:

JOHN
And now Hideki is jawing with the umpire. I wonder if something is getting...Lost in Translation?

SUZY
God, I hate this job.

JOHN
Woman, don't make me turn your microphone off again like I did for the first 40 games this season.

SUZY
I'll be good.

*Look, the man does say "An A-bomb from A-Rod." And I like going too far, damnit. (See new comment on "The Sterling Variations: Derek Jeter.")