Tuesday, August 14, 2007
The Sterling Variations: Hideki Matsui
When Hideki does good:
Hideki hi-decks that one out of here!
Domo arigato, Hideki ari-got it!
Moshi moshi and sayonara! Hideki moshi moshi MASHED it!
A Hiroshima from Hideki!*
Banzai! Hideki threw himself into the left field wall with no concern for his life, taking one for the Emperor!
George is calling himself the emperor now?
As you would know if you had any rudimentary understanding of Japan, Suzy, I'm referring to Emperor Hirohito, Suzy. The allegiance the Japanese people still have for him being, of course, the reason we can't trust Japs. (beat.) Everyone knows that!
Fifteen seconds of dead air pass.
When Hideki does not good:
And now Hideki is jawing with the umpire. I wonder if something is getting...Lost in Translation?
God, I hate this job.
Woman, don't make me turn your microphone off again like I did for the first 40 games this season.
I'll be good.
*Look, the man does say "An A-bomb from A-Rod." And I like going too far, damnit. (See new comment on "The Sterling Variations: Derek Jeter.")