Dear Red Sox Management,

You got your gate in, you got your gate out, you got your fucking team a one-run loss in a barely-official game that would have been just as cheap a result if the Marlins had lost. You even managed to get Mike Lowell, one of the most work-a-day players on the ship, to bitch about this. I know you have stats people up there. What part of 100% chance of rain do you not understand?