Friday, December 7, 2007

Alex Rodriguez: The anti-Mo Vaughn.

Awesome! The humanization/villainization of Alex Rodriguez continues, this time by the New York Times' article "A-Rod’s Properties and Charity Suggest Some Decrepitude of Soul." (Er, "Stinginess," that was supposed to read. Honest mistake.") This article describes some crappy apartment buildings owned by Mr. Rod in Tampa, FL, with carpets stained from the '90s, rickety banisters, piles of old mattresses rotting by the dumpsters, residents quoted as saying things like "Honestly, I was raised in a ghetto and I was brought up a little better than this." Oh, and managers who manage to lose the rent, then kick out tenants for missing rent.

How the fuck do you lose the rent? A gust of Florida can blow away the wind. It can't blow the money on lottery tickets and...whatever else there is to spend money on in Tampa. Flimsy summer suits? Salsa records? Also, A-Rod donated less than $6K to charity in 2005. And his shitty properties have LOST value!

Eh, whatever. We all know that it isn't possible to make money and not be evil. And baseball players don't make great businesspeople, especially not in real estate. I can't think of a single former MLB player who is making money in real estate while doing good work to make project buildings genuine residences.

But you know whose apartment buildings wouldn't be falling apart? Derek Jeter. Now that guy knows how to hire a clutch carpenter, and get his evictions done in April, when it doesn't count as much. Jeter knows not to cut corners or cheat on anything. Because all of your mistakes can come back to you:

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