Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Don't Die Just Yet (and, predictions)

Apologies for being away a ways, all; just returned from a vacation in New Orleans that was...too good. I'm bitching and moaning at 39 degree weather in the Brooklyn mornings and wondering why liquor isn't available at all hours (and MD 20/20 isn't available in all flavors), and none of that is much me. But at least the time away distracted me slightly from baseball.

Those nice new roadies are looking worse with every passing loss, and this is a dispiriting start, but the time for panic isn't nigh just yet. Games have been largely close, Jon Lester's woes have been largely in 2 particular innings pitched with 10 runs, and they've had chances to win every game they've lost. Excepting last night. Gasp. That's some pretty lame excusage, eh?

That being said, I still have to give up my predictions for the year, as made 12 days ago. (The Professor and Lasko can confirm the date mark.) I want to move the Rays up, and the Royals down, and am obviously feeling shakier than ever about the Sox, but I'm duty-bound. It's gotta get better from here, all. There just isn't that much room to fail harder.

1. Indians
2. Twins
3. Tigers (Gallaraga's a horse, and Verlander has to come back to form at some point. Otherwise, how was this team so good and young and talented for most of one season, and so meh since? Also, anxiety disorders can't be tested with blood tests, you fucking Tiger PR donks. Free Dontrell!)
4. Royals (I'm not saying the Royals will be "the next Rays!" as some baseballers have. I'm saying that Greinke could well win the Cy this year, Gordon is learning, and the impending friendship of Coco Crisp and Kyle Farnsworth...well, that's my next sitcom pitch once I sell "Barry and Gary.")
5. White Sox (Also could be the Tigers here. But nothing burns so brightly as a mediocre team with Ozzie as manager.)

1. Angels (I want to pick the A's. I really want to pick the A's. I think this one will be down to the wire. I think the Angels are just good enough, and that Matt Holliday is playing for Oakland a year ahead of when he should.)
2. A's (Could be another big three or so in the rotation coming; like bad Polish food, though, they need seasoning.)
3. Rangers
4. Mariners (old Griffey will hit 3-9 HRs total in Safeco.)

1. Mets (Also for the 3rd year in a row. Having basically fixed their cause for downfall from last year, what will go wrong this year? Find out!)
2. Phillies (I gave them the WC before I realized, I don't think Cole Hamels is going to be healthy this year.)
3. Braves (Lowe could win a lot of games this year, if not over the whole contract.)
4. Marlins (in the new stadium, they will be the Miami Marlins. Now all they need to do is move to the AL, and lose to the Cubs in the World Series in a few years, and Back to the Future II will be prophetic.)
5. Nationals (I think in the spirit of Julian Tavarez's comments, I'll be calling this team 600 pound J. Lo for awhile.)

1, Cubs (Not as many wins as last year. Zambrano's going to have a 14-13, 4.35, too many walks sort of year. Fukudome still sucks, but the Horry Cow shirt seems to be less popular at least.)
2. Brewers
3. Cardinals
4. Reds
5, Astros
6. Pirates

1. Diamondbacks (One pick I might change, but I just feel like they have more upside than the Dodgers as a whole, and year 2 of the Webb/Haren combo will be still better than year 1. I'd be more at ease with this pick if LA hadn't resigned Furcal. I dunno.)
2. Dodgers (WC)
3. Giants (who could sneak up on everyone in this division and actually be dangerous in the playoffs. They'll take the Hitless Wonders throne away from the 1906 White Sox.)
4. Rockies
5. Padres (worst record in baseball)

Divisional Series
Red Sox beat Angels (as easy a phrase to write as Rock beats Scissors)
Yankees beat Indians (5 games, Carmona is as awful as he was awesome in the 2007 ALDS)

Diamondbacks beat Mets (5 games. Webb wins two, Haren loses game 2, wins game 5.)
Cubs beat Dodgers (Payback, motherfuckas!)

Championship Series

Red Sox beat Yankees in 5 (crucial play of Game 5 is a bases loaded off-the-glove error by Jeter to let in the winning run in the 12th. New York tabloids publish no paper the day after, in shock. A-Rod rejoices in relief.)

Diamondbacks beat Cubs in 6

World Series

Red Sox beat Diamondbacks in 5 (a series forgotten as quickly as it's played, marking 6 years since a World Series made it 6.)

G. Sizemore (since I've been picking him since he was born)
M. Ramirez (Pujols will have better numbers, but this will also be a lifetime achievement award)

Francisco Liriano (was great down the stretch. and I had to make an unsafe pick.)
T. Lincecum (kid is sick)

Elvis Andrus
Cameron Maybin

Comeback Player of the Year
Dennis Ray "Oil Can" Boyd

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