Thursday, April 17, 2008

Things You Can Do While Waiting For Tim McClelland To Call A 3-2 Pitch

--Scratch every orifice of your body
--Check your e-mail
--Play six hands of poker
--Lose $2500 making stock trades
--Knit a doily
--Read four chapters of a Richard Brautigan book
--Sign seventeen autographs
--Walk all the way to first base (As many Yankees and Red Sox nearly did last night)
--Run to second base (Jacoby Ellsbury/Julio Lugo only)

--Make crude Artpad/MS Paint drawings of Manny Ramirez dancing.
--Feed, like, two people. Three if you went to college an' shit
--Write three haiku
--Listen to the shortest song ever one hundred and twenty times
--(Start and) finish a bad screenplay. It is that easy!
--Check your bat for excessive pine tar, knowing your history
--All of the above, before you're at last called out on a borderline curveball.

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