Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Orioles are "Hummingbird."

Rays= Paper.

Returning AL Champions, supposed to be good for years to come, not terribly good thus far. Loses to Scissors, and most other teams, but in spite of being but a paper tiger, covers Rock. (And by covering it, defeats it? I've never understood this element of the game. You can still throw a rock through the fucking paper.) 42% of victories versus Boston.

Yankees= Scissors.

Some sharp edges acquired by free agency, mostly dull thus far. Even a rusty pair of scissors can cut through paper. (Yankees took 2 of 3 from Tampa, in Tampa.)

Red Sox= Rock.

Well-rounded team, potentially, from lineup to rotation to bullpen. Turns to Kryptonite around Tampa (losing 5 out of 7 so far...yeah, that's half of their losses), turns Scissors into shards of metal (winning 5 of 5 against New York, including two very similar games Monday and Tuesday night). Vulnerable, but still the best throw.

Oh, and the importance these teams have to each other's record thus far? Proof that we don't know shit until our team goes around the league, and further reason I hate the unbalanced schedule, because we won't be around the league until late July. The thrill of 18 games a year against all rivals is gone. Stop the madness.

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