Dear Boston Red Sox,
Regarding your performance since the All-Star break, which has been a rapid-fire version of the standard Sox summer swoon, I must say:
You're all better than this. Except maybe Manny Delcarmen. Who hasn't even been bad lately.
Play better or fuck off.
Yours in Christ,
P.S. for Theo--
This proposed three-way deal of Manny Ramirez for Jason Bay plus prospects sounds like the Nomar Garciaparra trade of 2008: a shake-up trade in which a disgruntled though incredibly talented veteran is traded for less than equal talent in return, to shake up an underachieving team. This armchair GM right here signs off on it.