Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Cancer Equation: Hodgkins= Pathos, Lymphoma= Comedy!

Listening to the Dan Patrick show, now cancer-free lefty Jon Lester talks about the humor required to get through lymphoma, or better still, the IMMENSE comic potential yet untapped in cancer. Unfortunately, Lester doesn't really relate much of how they spun tumors into ticklers: all that's really notable is that apparently Josh Beckett was the first to play the cancer card, saying something like, "Hey, some time when you don't have cancer, we need to go hunting."

Now, anyone who's read Bang The Drum Slowly knows that you go hunting with your teammate when he first has a fatal disease, or lie to your manager about having gone hunting with him when really you were at the Mayo Clinic, but that's not the point. The point is, Beckett has discovered a pretty good excuse for putting off anything.

"Hey, Jon, some time when you don't have cancer, we should really give you a contract extension."

"Hey, Jon, some time when you don't have cancer, we should talk about that other guy I'm bonestorming."

"Hey, Jon, some time when you don't have cancer, I should give you a hug. Not before then, though. I know it's not contagious like that, I just think cancer smells like day-old donuts and one of those gross new Doritos flavors. Like, ewww."

"Hey, Jon, some time when we finally come up with a cure for cancer, I'll pay my half of the rent. I mean, some time when you don't have cancer. Whatever."

I could go on for days, but I've got a headache. (Finish tired Kindergarten Cop joke here.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

totally inappropriate. beckett is one of jon's friends. it's totally different when assholes like you think you have the right to turn cancer of a young guy into a joke. how about YOU go through 6 rounds of wouldn't be laughing then, let alone making jokes about "bonestorming other guys"

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