Thursday, April 26, 2007

GAME NINETEEN: Blood, blood, blood!

Nice game last night: the Sox beat on the Orioles' expensive bullpen, Schilling went seven strong, and Pembleton couldn't get pock-marked killer Julian Tavarez to reveal where he hid the kids' bodies. Apparently, when it comes to the AL East team that somehow owns Boston, Toronto is the new Baltimore, and Baltimore is the new Tampa Bay, whereas Tampa Bay is the new Toronto? No, wait a second...let's reconfigure this with the assumption that the Yankees aren't going to right their pitching this year, an assumption I wouldn't make otherwise. So, "[blank] is the new [blank]," in current order of standings.

Boston is the new...New York. (Note: must win a division flag first. It's been twelve years. This blog ain't named after Mo Vaughn for nothing.)

Baltimore is the new...Toronto. Third place at best. No one really cares.

Toronto is the new...Boston. Pre-2004. The team that always seems to be getting better, but may never get There.

Tampa Bay is the new...Baltimore. (In recognition of the fact that they might not be finishing last in years to come. They'll be finishing fourth.)

New York is the new...Tampa Bay? Circa 1999, maybe. Fading veterans? Check. Inadequate pitching? Check. Steinbrenner even has his whole separate secret Yankee branch based out of Tampa.

(Look, someone other than Tampa Bay had to play Tampa Bay. Oh, and I'm way too optimistic about the suckage of the Yankees. As you've noted. But a five-game losing streak is a five-game losing streak, and Phil Hughes is no Steve Nebraska.)

The bit of controversy to come from yesterday's game, yawn, is over the authenticity of Curt Schilling's bloody sock, Game 6, 2004 ALCS. Broadcaster Gary Thome (who I thought was more a hockey guy, actually) said Doug Mirabelli told him the blood wasn't real; Doug Mirabelli denied ever saying anything of the sort. Which I guess means the conversation went like this?

THOME: Was the blood real?
MIRABELLI: (Vague gesture.)
THOME: I knew it!

I don't much care if it was blood; it was a cadaver's tendon holding Schilling's ankle together, a surgery that cost Schilling any semblance of effectiveness in 2005 and is unlikely to be repeated again because it's just not a very good idea, unless you absolutely need a pitcher to go. Now if the sock had been painted and Schilling just chose to suck in 2005, that would be another issue. An issue requiring a really, really stupid theory.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

more classic sterling last night. during an a-rod AB: "That ball is high... THAT BALL IS FAR... THAAAT BAAALL IIIIIIS caught at the wall."

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