Wednesday, May 23, 2007

GAMES FORTY-FOUR and FORTY-FIVE: $200 Million don't buy ya what it used ta.

Georgie, get your gun: here come your 2007 New York Yankees...

1. Samson Damon, CF (.263 BA/.366 OBP/.358 SLG)

You know what happens when once-great centerfielders come to New York and start to fade away? Mets fans do:

2. Derek Jeter, SS (.360/.411/.480)

Do you think Jeter does the fist pump in bed? I imagine the Jeter fist pump as the egg timer of the young, naive starlet, denoting the end of another prematurely brief session swinging the lumber. No one said fame would be easy, darling.

3. Hideki Matsui, LF (.283/.379/.460)

Has his own museum. And a cool nickname. Also: boring.

4. Alex Rodriguez, 3B (.308/.390/.680)

Yesterday, again showed his dirty side in a really filthy play on Pedroia, reminding us all of the slap play from Game 6 of the 2004 ALCS. I await payback today. Coming out of slump, which gives him a chance to be Mr. May as well as Mr. April. The most excellent and most irrelevant player of a generation.

5. Jorge Posada (.371/.431/.594)

Having a great year. The magic was within you all along, Dumbo.

6. Bobby Abreu, RF (.239/.317/.307)

Slugging percentage isn't much bigger than his batting average. Was missed so badly by the Phillies last year they went on a tear without him and almost took the wild card. Not exactly a big presence at the plate anymore. At least Eddie Gaedel could always draw walks.

7. Jason Giambi, DH (.268/.396/.449)

Drug-addled womanizer who can't play a lick of first base with deteriorating numbers. In other words, my favorite Yankee, although I sure miss Ruben Rivera.

8. Robinson Cano, 2B (.248/.288/.370)

An overrated book, an overrated player.

9. Doug Mientkiewicz, 1B (.210/.286/.360)

A golden god. Clearly. Would some guy with Photo Shop skills and too much time on his hands lie to you?

No comments:

Free Blog Counter