Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Off Day Amusements: Starting Lineup

For those who don't know or don't remember, Starting Lineup was a set of collectible pro sports action figure collectibles, exactly the sort of thing that's fun for kids and embarrassing for adults who have still kept them in their boxes. (Or should be.) The interesting thing my friend J. Laakso noted is that these figures look NOTHING like the athletes they're supposed to resemble. In an era of freakish verisimilitude in video games (seriously, compare/contrast), this seems almost quaint. A few examples. (There are worse, which I've seen in baseball card shops, but unfortunately good pictures of these online are hard to find.)

Barry Bonds, smiling. Additionally, his head looks a little big, since Pittsburgh Bonds wasn't yet San Francisco Bonds. That's not a 755+ home run swing there, by the way; Barry is nowhere near facing a pitcher, unless that pitcher's throwing from third base.

Someone at Kenner wasn't even trying.

It's not enough that this looks nothing like Barry Larkin; the features are so generic this may as well be a black Ken doll.

Below= Olympic gold medalist Michael Johnson.
Above= Some guy with his fists closed coming to kick your ass. This was made in 1997, proving Kenner never stopped not trying.

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