Friday, July 20, 2007

game ninety five: daddy's drinking, son.

The last time I saw a team score fewer runs on more hits, it was probably the Boston Red Sox of 1994, in the classically easy slugfest of Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball. It was a station to station game: you hit a single or you hit a homerun, basically. The Sox were like that yesterday, without the homeruns; instead, Manny Ramirez hit one 415 feet to the triangle. Even Jason Varitek's near-cheap homerun fell a few feet short of the pole.

It gets hard to write anything when a team is as uncompelling as the Red Sox have been in June and July. The team is a couple games below .500 for these months, and in a reasonable division, they would have a three or four game lead, while in the old two-division league system, they would be a game or two behind. They have two five starters in their rotation right now, one of whom is more like a #6 starter. And Freddy Krueger look-alike Julian Tavarez should know from his movie character look-alike that 6 is a bad number.

WRKO actually had an ad on for Dr. McGillicuddy's Mentholmint Schnapps and Vanilla Schnapps. They also make a cinnamon-flavored whiskey, Fireball, a kinda busted-ass one-bottle Fireball, itself not that good a cocktail. There were also a lot of ads telling me to advertise on Red Sox radio, which isn't that surprising if you think about it. And as the Red Sox continued to hit singles and not score runs, the idea of drinking mentholated schnapps, though still not a pleasant one, seemed a valid enough one.

Luckily, there was Brooklyn Summer Ale in my fridge and I said to myself, "Hey, at least Pedroia had his second straight three-hit game. That's cool." And I drank my beer and fell asleep on the couch.

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