Monday, July 2, 2007

The Sterling Variations, vol. 1: Jason Giambi

This is John Sterling. He announces Yankee games. He has for a few years. He needs to be fired for the love of the game and big baby jesus. He is the man behind such inane catchphrases like "An A-Bomb from A-Rod!" and "Melky Cabrera! The Melky way!"

Here are a few things he didn't say, but could have, things not necessarily worse than "The Giambino!"

Upon Jason Giambi success:

--A grand salami for Giambi!
--Jason racin' around the bases! Safe!
--Moneyball four, and Jason walks.
--Giambi fucked your mommy!

Upon Jason Giambi failure:

--Jason went chasin'. Strike three.
--Giambi's not happy with that call, but it appears that home plate ump Bruce Froemming is telling him, 'Go tell it to the committee.' Strike three.
--Giambi, go back home to your mommy!
--Giambi tried for home that play, but he ran out of juice.

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