Monday, June 18, 2007


Barry Bonds (above, in more innocent times) doesn't mean anything to me. I actually remember a time when I didn't want to believe he was juiced (though we all knew it if we thought about it, or weren't from San Francisco) and still defended him as the greatest left fielder of all time; now he's technically the greatest of all time, but we're on the alternate timeline where he becomes a behemoth to crush all records and we'll never know what his natural numbers would be. (My guess: something like Ken Griffey Jr's, which ain't shabby a'tall.) With its focus on the chase for 756*, ESPN remains convinced I give a shit. I don't, not enough to boo or hold signs. The Bonds element of the story would have only been interesting if he was standing of the verge of breaking the record, as it seemed he might when he started the year hot. Or if he'd played left field and tried to play balls off the Monster. That'da been funny.

And now a quick series summary.

ONE: Julian Tavarez goes seven, giving up just two runs. No one hits except the top two of the lineup, but the top two get eight hits and eight RBI, including Dustin Pedroia getting five hits and raising his batting average twenty points in a night.

TWO: Monster Zero twirls an excellent game, then Okajima, then Papelbon, then shutout. Manny hits a homerun. That's it.

THREE: Matt Morris throws pitches that look like this. Red Sox hit accordingly. Wakefield's line doesn't end up so good, and he gives up home run to some guy with a big head. Good enough though, thanks in part to a tough hold by...Joel Piniero?

Next up, more of our "natural" rival. Yee haw.

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