Tuesday, June 12, 2007

LOSS 9,987: You poor, poor bastards.

Good series against Arizona, boring series with Colorado approaching (in anticipatory terms, as interleague continues to unjustify its value), but I'd like to focus on another team today, and another city. The city is Philadelphia, the team, the Phillies. The approaching event: loss #10,000.

The Phillies are on the verge of a historical level of suck, much like our President is and will be by January 2009. But while our president only has eight years to send the country into the suck, the Phillies have had over 100 years to suck, and were it not for that one solitary championship season, the dread would be unimaginable...as it is, the Marlins have more championships than the Phillies in about 1/10 of the time. They've had players like these on some ignonimous, and most infamously, blew a 6.5 game lead with 12 games to go in 1964. That's beyond the Sox's 1978, and to even compare them is like comparing losing a lot of weight on a three-month Atkins diet versus doing the same thing in a couple weeks, with stomach stapling and Dexatrim.

Oh, Philadelphia. The tourist attractions are psuedo-1776, the core hasn't changed since 1976. A city epitomized in its famous cheesesteak, a food one craves, then eats half of and starts feeling ill, then eats the rest of and feels nothing but heartburn, heartache, and regret. No championships for over 20 years will make you do stuff like booing Santa Claus.

The Phillies should be celebrated...for being around a very long time, and ultimately running the A's out of town, sorta. Philadelphia's a nice place, although it's easy to make fun of.

Philadelphia: It ain't Cleveland. But that William Penn (statue) sure is a vindictive sum' bitch.

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